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Why did Kleinfeld law me favor I to be buying a used car, and let me leave the store with nothing but a headache (and, frankly, a hankering for some Valium)? 

Buying her wedding dress is, like, the most essential decision of your life, second only to committing to your partner, and finding the right mix of hair products. Obviously.

You are watching: Claudia say yes to the dress fired

(Cue eye roll.) 

Nothing perpetuates this myth much more than the TLC fantasy reality show Say Yes to The Dress. But, from The Hills to The Housewives, we all know reality television isn’t real. Now, from personal experience, I deserve to tell friend Say Yes come The Dress isn’t either. The whole experience felt prefer that of highly-anticipated sex wherein the guy isn’t just terrible in bed, yet actually finishes first.

Simply put, the show is a big fucking lie.

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If friend aren’t acquainted with Say Yes to The Dress, enable me to operation you through the premise. It’s around famed new York bridal salon, Kleinfeld. The display is equal components dress porn and fairytale: Brides come anywhere from new Jersey come Nova Scotia, walk to Kleinfeld, and also find your dream wedding gown v the assist of the store’s Fairy Godmother-esque staff. In the magical people of fact television, these fairy dressmothers listen to her concerns, respect your budget, and even tell her crabby mother-in-law to have the right to it, if need be.

Getting engaged is awesome, not just since you’ve found the love of her life, but likewise because anyone is nice to you for no reason. From thousands of Facebook likes to receiving money and gifts native randos (like mine father’s an initial wife), everyone went the end of their method to make me feeling special. As soon as you arrangement your wedding, vendors will avoid at nothing come kiss her ass and also take her money.

So, why did Kleinfeld law me favor I to be buying a used car, and let me leaving the save with nothing yet a headache (and, frankly, a hankering for part Valium)? 

While i wasn’t expecting to be treated like Kate Middleton, i was hoping the the endure would be enjoyable and I"d peruse a well-curated selection of gowns. Nope.

Even prior to my appointment began, ns noticed several red flags. Choose what, you ask? Oh, simply an unattended coat examine in the dead that winter (this is a major issue ~ above the eastern Coast) and a gas station-esque bathroom. (Ew!) Despite arriving on time for my appointment, ns waited 20 minutes amongst a gaggle of bridezillas, who jointly had enough estrogen to attain a spontaneous pregnancy. 

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At long last, i met v my consultant Trina*, whom ns kind of well-known from the show. (She’s too B-list to it is in a collection regular.) ns sat down and gave her my criteria and also budget. I proved her mine favorite costume from their website. I had one request: No Pnina Tornai (Pnina Tornai is among the brands heavily featured ~ above the show, and is sold exclusively at Kleinfeld). So, naturally the an initial dress she confirmed me to be Pnina Tornai.

What?

Though the dress was, admittedly, pretty, it was nearly $3,000 over my budget. Trina offered a small discount if us ordered the dress in the following three weeks. I tried top top the dress again.

Upon last inspection, ns realized the corset bodice moved up my breasts therefore much, i wondered if Kleinfeld could refer us to a defibrillator rental service, should any of ours older guests have a heart attack.

Despite looking choose a royal residence on TV, Kleinfeld isn’t large enough for the lot of client it attracts. If you have never do the efforts on a wedding dress, permit me phone call you: Those things are ridiculously large and heavy. There aren’t enough mirrors and also platforms, for this reason I had to wait in line while the clock was ticking. Would certainly my meeting end before I obtained a peek at myself? 

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Another difficulty I had actually with Kleinfeld is the brides can’t look at most of the dresses. The gowns room stored in a mysterious back room amongst, i assume, voodoo dolls and also $800 belts. (According to mine unscientific research, that’s wherein 75% that the store’s was is located.) If your consultant won"t hear to you, like Trina, yes a 70-85% possibility you will be presented with numerous dresses friend won’t even want to try.

Still, choose that 5th drink girlfriend shouldn"t order, ns went earlier to Kleinfeld a second time. (Just slightly much better than drunk-texting one ex.) because that the most part, i felt choose they didn"t hear to mine requests . . . again. For example, I claimed to Trina, “no pearl on the bodice.” Trina then lugged me a dress featuring pearls on the whole bodice.

I honestly wondered if the vault 10-minute conversation was every in mine head.

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Trina then proceeded to display me Ian Stuart number (above left), insisting I would certainly absolutely love it. To compare, see (above right) the actual wedding dress I ended up buying. This is what ns had defined all along. (Again, were these conversations every in mine head?) 

The last straw came numerous weeks ~ my 2nd appointment. I got sucked right into a marathon the town hall of Say Yes come The Dress. I i found it a bride-to-be being offered the very same Pnina Trina motivated me to try. The woman was, minimum, one foot taller 보다 me. Though dresses are transformed to fit the bride, particular genetically-given proportions do not paris in the same style — there is a huge difference between dresses designed for a human being over 6 feet, and person that barely above little-people elevation (that would certainly be me). I felt disrespected. After ~ this event (followed through a glass the wine), ns spoke come a friend who newly bought a dress at Kleinfeld, yet had a different criteria and also body type. Guess: v what? Trina, who was coincidentally she consultant, verified us the very same dresses. (I know, i know. You"re shocked.)

I feel prefer reality television tricked me. Kleinfeld no in the company of making women feel an excellent — lock in the organization of marketing dresses. It doesn’t issue if the dress isn"t what you desire — they just want you to sign a credit card receipt in under 1.5 hours. Your consultant doesn’t care how friend met her fiancé, or if you’ve preferred your venue. Instead, she will certainly prioritize she bottom line — not how your bottom looks in a mermaid-style number — like the proverbial angry stepmom, no fairy dressmother.

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TLC, appealing to the lowest typical denominator in united state all, has convinced me of numerous strange things. However when it involves a wedding dress, girlfriend shouldn’t listen to TLC, Trina, or the owners of Kleinfeld.

Listen to your instincts, not a fact show. Remember that this is your dress. You worthy to feel valued while wearing it, and also shopping because that it.