tying the Knot: ‘Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta’ star and also FBI certified dealer married nearly 20 years after meeting
By Denise Dunbar | ddunbar
lifwynnfoundation.orgWhen Monte Durham and Jakob Evans married in October 2013, the theme of the wedding to be ‘Lucky us.’ The two had actually known each various other for nearly 20 years at the point, but decided to wed ~ gay marriage was legalized earlier that year.
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“Lucky us. Not just us, yet anybody come marry whoever friend love,” Durham said.
Durham remembers as soon as Evans an initial raised the object of marriage previously that year. He to be stuck in an airplane in Vancouver, brother Columbia ~ above July 4, in the middle of a business trip regarded his function as fashion manager of the TLC present “Say Yes come the Dress: Atlanta.”
“My flight’s been cancelled. I’m trying come get back to watch the fireworks here in D.C.and we’re currently three hrs behind. I’m in the joined lounge,” Durham said.
“Your family had come increase from phibìc Carolina,” Evans added.
“I’m trying come get one more flight,” Durham continued.“And Jack call me.And he says,
‘What are you doing?’ and I said, ‘I’m here and also I’m frazzled.’
“He never calls. I always call,” Durham said. “He’s trying to talk and also I’m like, ‘Really? I’m yes, really in no mood.’ ns trying to get on this flight. It’s going to be a nightmare. I’m no going to obtain home tonight – I have the right to see that already.”
“He goes, ‘You know, gay marriage is legal in D.C.’ ns go, ‘Yeah, I know that, Jack, I know that.’ and he’s talk to me and also the woman is trying to work on mine ticket so i’m going earlier and forth. That says, ‘I think us should obtain married.’ ns like, ‘OK, okay take the seat.WHAT?’ he said, ‘Yeah, i think us should obtain married.’”
“The timing was justsomething,” Durham said.
“I’m like, ‘Really? execute we need to talk around this now?’ I had been working for 2 weeks and also I just wanted to acquire home. … ‘ ok Jack. Ns think this is an excellent and wonderful. But can us talk around this as soon as I acquire home?’ He to be like, ‘Fine, if that’s the means you want to be.’ i said, ‘That’s not the way I desire to be, I’m simply trying to get a ticket.’”
Durham finally madeit residence at midnight and they did have actually that talk the following day. Evans said there to be multiple factors for wanting to get married.
“The can be fried Court had actually ruled The Defense of marriage Act to be no much longer valid,” Evans said. “And for this reason that forced the federal federal government to recognize gay marriages.And based on thatthey would expand benefits to your companion so long as you to be legally married.So based on that, i said, ‘We can gain him wellness coverage.We don’t have to worry about that.’”
Health coverage was anissue because, as an independent contractor, Durhamdid no have
employer-provided insurance money of his own.
Their wedding weekendwas a three-day event.They to be married in ~ the D.C. Courthouse on Oct.18 – using a scriptures that had actually belonged come Durham’s granny – then had a post-ceremony luncheonat the Hay-Adams Hotel.Then ~ above Oct. 20, there to be a blessing ceremony in ~ St.Paul’s Church, followed by a brunch at the Morrison House. Durham’s “Say Yes” co-star Lori Allen and her husband make the pilgrimage up because that the ceremony.The day of Oct. 20 to be deliberately liked for the blessing and also brunch.
“…I’m all about Jackie O and Oct. 20 was whenshe married Ari Onassis,” Durham said.
At the brunch, Durhamdeliberately recreated the famous pose the Jackie lighting candles on a dinner table.The glamour the theirwedding weekend substantially contrasted v Durham’s upbringing in countryside West Virginia.
“I thrived up an extremely poorin West Virginia in a holler,” Durham said. “I grewup in a house with no running water and also an outsidetoilet. I started college in a two-room schoolhouse the my great-grandfather built since my mother and her siblings, all 12 of them, had to walk 5 miles so he placed in the school.”
Durham said it was adramatic adjust to walk from that upbringing come his current life, where he continues to be in five-star hotels and also wears designer clothes.
“I am telling you that was never ever my see that that would happen to me. Never, never,” the said.
Evans was also a transplant to the D.C. Area, having actually grown up anywhere thestate of Colorado. The considers Eagle, Colorado hishometown.
“After high school, I’d used with the F.B.I. Due to the fact that I want to come outeast. Ns don’t understand why I want to come the end east, i just had actually that urge,” the said.
Unfortunately, the paperwork and procedure tookso lengthy that Evans provided up top top the F.B.I. And joined the army instead. He had actually just landed on boot camp once he dubbed home come let his family know he had arrived safely.
Evans said, “My momwas sad and kind the crying
So Evans served threeyears in the Army and also reapplied come the F.B.I., was embraced again and embarkedon a 38-year career at the Bureau. He retirement in 2010.
It was v a girlfriend at the F.B.I. That Evans met Durham, who was functioning at Woodward & Lothrop at the moment as a personal shopper.The partner of one ofDurham’s co-workers was with the F.B.I. And invited him to a Christmas party.
“I to be like, ‘Eh,’” Durham said. “Believe the or not I’m no really a large party guy. I’m an ext of a recluse than world would imagine.But anyway, I said OK.”
The party to be being organized in a structure where 2 apartments had actually been joined together.
When he entered the an initial apartment, over there was no one there and he wonder where all of the people were. After walking down a hallway he gone into a crowded room, and loudly exclaimed, “Oh my, that’s where everybody is.”
Evans was in that crowd.After a while the crowd had thinned and also Durham make his method over come Evans and also said, “Well, ns guess we’re going to need to talk.”
“He started stalkingme,” Evans said. “That’s precise what the was.”
In the era prior to cellphones, Durham and also Evans didn’t immediately affix or begin dating, however they did see each other occasionally because they to be partof the same larger circle of friends.
“There wasn’t like, bells, lights and also all that,” Durham said. “It literally to be we just started talking. And we developed a friendship first.Because us knew so countless of the same civilization once we began talking.”
“What was also moreinteresting, was I had lost my companion like three years before,” Evans said. “And his surname was Monty with a ‘y’. It was like, wow. It was interesting.”
That new Year’s Eve, Evans went with some friendsto a bar ~ above King Street dubbed 808.
“So we gotten in there and also I looked up and who to be on the bar but Monte,” Evans said.
“It was brand-new Year’s Eve,” Durham exclaimed. “We were trying to gain the group up. So over there were three of us men in the same vest and also we had actually boas. We had this skit and also it’s narrow
Evans couldn’t believe his eyes.
“I know my mouth simply dropped open,” the said. “I was just like, ‘Oh. My. God.’”
Soon afterward, Evanscame through the Woodward &Lothrop in ~ Landmark shopping center to check out Durham and the 2 exchanged call numbers.
“He started coming over to mine house,” Evans said. “I had actually a little bitty house.”
Durham had actually a condo atthe time that they moved right into after selling Evans’ house. Soon,
though, they made decision to market the condo and buy a house together.They uncovered a 74-year-old house with white columns the they have extensively renovated. Durham alsopurged many of Evans’ furniture follow me the way.
“We wanted to … begin out fresh,” Evans said.
“Even despite there’s nothing in this residence that belonged come you originally,” Durham said.
“You’ve certainly gotten rid the everything,” Evans agreed.
“Well, you had actually no taste, actually,” Durham countered.“I mean, few of thethings. … You understand it’s negative when the Salvation military says, ‘You understand we’re not taking that.’”
“He’s right,” Evans sighed. “My little house had all white walls.”
“His paintings, wellposters, were every hung up high,” Durham remembered.“I’m shocked when I look ago at the house.”
Durham is enjoy it atother contrasts in between the two of them, consisting of in attire.
“Jack is very conservative in dress, really liberal in viewpoints,” Durham said.“So it’s interesting because, friend know, i wear whatever I think is trending or fashionable.”
The two stay grounded, regardless of Durham’s celebrity due to the fact that he began withTLC’s “Say Yes come the Dress: Atlanta” 7 years and also 10 periods ago. Durham travels typically for TLC, consisting of for the non-profit “Say Yes come the Prom” the he help run. A 90-minute segment will certainly air on in march 24that features the story of young men and also women who were may be to attend proms with the organization help.Macy’s room store detailed 2,000 prom dresses as component of the partnership.
“I’m happy the he’s gone a lot,” Evans laughed.“That’s the only way we most likely have
When Durham is traveling, Evans tends to stayhome through their 2 rescue Welsh Terriers, Patsy Jo and also Charlie Champ.When lock go the end together, they have small privacy, because people constantly come up to Durham.
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“I used to reap that when people would identify him when we would certainly go the end or shopping,” Evans said. “And currently it’s much more like one inconvenience.I nothing think the itas an intrusion, due to the fact that I feeling honestly it is what that chose. The comes with the territory. However it can acquire a small aggravating.”
It’s been almost five years because they married and seven since Durhambecame an around the world known celebrity.